Because of my soft hearted...

haiz.....

again...

because of my soft hearted....

'pop' out such word again....

"why don't go to lunch with us?"

"let's eat together larh"

haiz...

pity her mum...

need to keep worrying about her....

both of you were the same...

repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat.....!!!

also cannot be counted that all of us had repeated for how many times...

but...

not even one time both of you listen to it....

(i mean you and your mum)

i really don't want to bother it again and i already know....

even the feeling of angry also disappear already...

the feeling of care to her also totally lost...

keep asked us why don't bother her...

and this is my answer:

because you yourself that make us feeling don't want you to bother anymore....

very hypocritical....

make people hate it....

thats why nobody want to bother you anymore....

and i think this is all of our feeling and thinking, not only single thinking and feeling from me....

HURT????

U asked me....

Question:

Did i get hurt?

will get hurt?

or...

already get hurt?

what the answer i get from myself is.....

Answer:

say truly...

after i know the fact,

i already get hurt....

but,

what can i do?

cannot be denied that the feeling is there...

so, what have i done?

i already be prepared for it?

i already be prepared to face it again?

Accurate Answer:

will not get hurt anymore...=)

when you express yourself to me....

when you said that it cannot be long and we will end up with close friends...

i already satisfy with it...

this is because i know that i already have a place in your heart and hope the place still will be mine forever....

just a small place in your heart, that is already enough for me....

cause i don't want to regret...

so, i already did what i didn't did these to others before...

and i will not regret...

so...

don't worry that i will get hurt....

and so happy that you express it to me, at least let me know what you are thinking...

so happy to have those memories with you...

thanks very much...^^

and...

i appreciate you very much....

muackz~~~

@^^@

Feeling of Miss

I start missing u...
although we are far apart...
but.....
you make me happy everyday...
you will make me feel shy and hot even i just faced to your massage...
and really luckily that i am not in front of you...
haha....

you make me dare to dream...
you let me have my dream...

well....
i know that...
i still need to face it again...
maybe not for now but in the future...
cannot be denied that......
it is a natural feeling.....
and i admit it...

i asked myself, have i be prepared for everything of it?
and yet....
the answer that i get is.......
tacitly approve....

and thanks for everything that you gave...
i will never forget it...
such a sweet memories that didn't even have before....
thanks, JW Core i100
@^^@

Again and Again...!!!

Haiz....
Again and Again...
when will it stop????

Question:
When you did something wrong, is it just apologize then can pretend that nothing happened before?
Answer:
NO!!!

Did you know that, we all already don't want to bother you anymore...?
we already tried very hard to do those that we can help...
but....
is you yourself don't want to help yourself...!!!
every time when did something wrong, just "Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry"!!!
express to your mom about us, about our bad !!!
your mom to talk to us and will said that we need to tolerant with you as you are a patient...
What a CRAZY PATIENT you are...!!!
CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY....!!!!!
and i want to said that, i DON'T WANT to have a CRAZY FRIEND like YOU...!!!

From here i discovered something which is:
Unknown people = Stranger
Stranger = Unknown People

Stranger, can be person that i don't know at first...
but...
Stranger, can also be the one that i know at first but already get ignored by me..

This is the meaning of stranger.
And you are now the stranger that i meant secondly....

What to do? no choices

haiz...

suddenly woke up 6am early in the morning, can't sleep anymore...

my mind flash back to last night...
well......
it's happy that he can walk out from those unhappiness, it's happy to saw his message, it's happy that he is happy, it's happy that everything goes fine on him....

but i asked myself....

"if i again, 'drop' into it, how?"
"can i take serious on it?"
"if i take serious on it, what will happen?"
"what will happen next?"
"what should i do?"

i keep on asked myself...
cannot be ignored that the feeling is exist...


i very scare of the feeling of getting hurt again...
it's not nice to have it...
no one would like to have it...
but,
is it that i should be prepared to face it one more time since i knew myself that i am going to drop in it again.....?

what to do?
no choices...

Last day here....TT

Time always pass very fast...
so fast,
again...
again...
time to leave....
haiz....
so sad that i am going to separate with everything here again..

family, things, friends.....
haiz...
i will miss them, i will miss all of them, i will miss ()()() ()()()......

although...
i don't know what feeling is that,
i don't know why i have such feeling,
i don't know why will it be like that,
i don't know who am i in his heart now,
i don't know will it be possible or impossible as i wish,
(but i think it will be impossible)
i don't know what will happen next,

haiz....
it's the reality that our distance will be far apart again...
i don't want...

need to wait another two and the half month only can back here again...
haiz....

i don't want i don't want i don't want... T_T

but here to said that,
i will take care of myself over there...
so....
everyone don't need to worry about me...

Happy^^

haha
yeah yeah...
so happy now...
because, the most difficult assignment goin to finish...
haha
although simply do for that, but at least i tried my best to do it..
and now i already very satisfy with my work...
haha

so happy...
till going to fly up the sky d..
someone pull me down please....
hahahaha....

=D

What feeling is that??

What feeling is that?
i really don't know...
din't hve such feeling before...
i also blur with it already...
but i think it is imposible gua....
haiz...
@@

what i am thinking orh.....?????
=/

I can't Make it

yesterday, it's a nice day for me...
woke up early because my coursemates were coming..
9am, they reached my house, then we went to sing K...
so nice because the 1st song is my favourite song that i always listen to: 任逍遥
what a nice song....
another things which made me happy is, because i was going to meet him..
a friend that i already waited since long time ago to meet...
at last get such chance when my ah mate suggested to go there....

at first, because of my friends, make me felt a bit 'paiseh' to meet him..
haha...
could feel my face bit hot hot, got red or not i don't know larh...
hehe><

we reached there at about 11.30am, so the time for us to sing is from 11.30am till 2.15pm..
but because of too cold in the room, so i came out from the room earlier...
went to the section that he work and chat with him...
^^
so nice and happy...
but, i get a weird feeling when i look into his eyes.
from his eyes, he gave a feeling that he is not happy actually...
although we laugh we smile when chit-chating, but don't know why i get such feeling...
is it i am too sensitive?
i throw away that feeling, continue chat with him till my friends come out from the room...
and its time...
its time for us to leave...
i dislike the feeling of leaving..
haiz...
but i alreaday satisfy cause get a chance to meet him...^^

then we went to JJ for a window shopping...
met my secondary school teacher who taught me Moral subject...
chat with her for a while...^^

at first, we planned to have a movie, but its full for the time that we want, and another time it shows was too late, so we cancelled that plan..

back home at about 7pm...
all the way i back, chat with him....
but at night, i suddenly get a weird feeling again when chat with him...
why arh?
at last, something happened..
hope to share with him but he refused that...
i am not his family or someone other else, so can't do anything....
what can i do just can hope and wish that he can overcome those problems stronger...
not all girls are same as what he taught, at least i am still a girl that willing to help him once he need....
just want to let him know, i will always be there for him.....

ask me don't care about others feeling?
i can't make it...
once you are my friend, ask me don't care and just leave u alone suffering?
i really can't make it....

Back...^^

Quite a long time din't come here expressing....
but everything still go fine after the big problem settled...
can be said settle, can be said haven't...
but what i chose to do is just to ignore it...
i don't want to care anymore on it...
i already make myself to ignore it, so just hope that it won't happen again...
its suffer actually...
suffer, disapointed and heartache...
but we already tried very hard to help her but at last...
"What we get???" i asked myself...
i also promise to him that i won't care of it anymore..
don't want him to disapointed with me already...
not only he, i even more don't want my family members to worry about me...
i have grown elder...
not to rely on family anymore...
i must be strong because, there are many more difficulty waiting for me in front...
to overcome it, i must be stronger...

Gambateh!!!