A Sudden Things happen...

Morning...
woke up from a sweet dream...
hehe...
cause the second time i dream of him....^^

but...
when it came to 10 something, he suddenly sms me told me that he felt something weird...
i ask...
what thing happened actually...
and now i know...
he said....
still not suit with our situation now...
and he asked...
how and what to do...
that time, when i saw his message, i really very hurt...
and i cried...
the first time i cried because of him....
haha...
sure u all taught that i am like that, when meet anything, sure cry...
but now...
i really really really cant control myself...
that feeling is totally different with that type when i going to seperate with my form6 senios and friends...
now i already can differentiate the difference of the feelings...

what can i do...
after a big cry, i try to think of it...
i just hope that he don't think so much of it 1st...
just let it be and see what will happened if we continue on...
its really too fast for us, but i really don't want just beacuse of the time is too short and make both of us felt that we are not suit...

but i think we maybe need to think about it already since he felt not suit with the situation when we were together...

Miss....

Haiz...
now i understand the feeling...
miss....
haiz...
faster reach thursday larh...
want go back johor meet my friends and also my him...
haha...
if continue on like this, i can't imagine that what will happened to my phone credit...
haha....

this few days...
he keep on sms me.....(actually i also got sms him)
haha...
made me also very very miss him...
at 1st i taught that i can afford the days...
"just 5 days only what", i taught...
but now...i know the feeling of missing someone...
its not a nice feeling... wanted to meet him now...
haiz.....
i told my parents about us...
they din't say anything...
just they a bit not agree with me cause its too fast for me to start it...
but...
they also respect with me...
so....
i really hope that i won't be wrong...
although i also felt that its too fast for us to start like that...
but....
as long as we are happy when we are together,
any problems also can cover it as long as we are true to each other....
i am serious with this now...
so....
hope that he also serious with it larh...^^
haha...

Totally give up...?

Now...
i already totally give up...
its so suffer for me to continue on like this...
i should start a new life there...
so...
the feeling towards him should be forgotten...
and i tried...
hope i can do it...

just chat with him...
wanted to chat with him more...
but seem like nothing to chat with him...
why?
why with others like Ying Kwong i can did it?
but him....not really...
so....
i think for long...
and now, i made a decision...
i should stop myself from that and stop myself from thinking him again...
i should give the chance to others...
so..........
i am now trying very hard to give up...
gambateh to myself...
haha....T.T
its just my feeling without any response...
so its better to give up? (i think so)

(my feeling before i accept CC)

Back from Johor, Batu Pahat

Morning...
woke up as usual....
went to Moral Class....
under a blur situation...
at last Moral Class end...
then taught that we will going to have our TMK class...
so worry about it cause its our turn to present...
other subject ask me to present still ok larh...
but TMK...haiz....

Luckily...
our lectural was absent...
so we just enter the BC class....
although its boring...
but at least better than TMK class....
huh...
at last....
finished....
yeah...
the time for me to back home was nearer...
then, i get something to present in front of my class...
haha...
not present larh...
just talked out my about my idea for our Class's t shirt that i had designed....

then..
haha....
took a photo with CheeCung...(why suddenly take photo?)
haha..
after i upload the photo then u will know what happened...
haha...
just wait and see larh...

at last...
time for me to go home...
hehe....
very happy...can see my family already...
haha....
reached Klang at about 8pm...
huh....
sat in the bus till my back also pain...
huhh....
my home sweet home...
haha...i am back...so excited....

although Sunday need go back already...
but already enough for me...
at least can bck here...
this time back...
although very hope to see those seniors and also him...
but then i know that its impossible...
haha...so...just let it...

already very late...
need to sleep already...
don't want to let them worry about me...(my friends in college)
haha......
take care everyone....

Moody....Feel Stress??

Haiz....
this few days...
many things happened here...(dare not tell out,but still express out here)
lot of things came too sudden...
made me don't know what to do and don't know how to do....

already 2 times distubing Ying Kwong...
so sorry for him and very thanks to him....
cause everytime i get problems will find him to talk to...
scare distubing him only...
but no choice...
thanks to him very much...
other then him...
i really don't know who i can express myself to already...

i tried before...
called him....(the him that i always mentioned before)
but he din't picked up my phone....
so...
called Ying Kwong...

suddenly felt that i am so no use...
just know how to cry to solve my problems...
(first time, talk to Ying Kwong..cried also)
(second time, sms to Ying Kwong..cried also)
is it after cry will be much more better?
(thought that i already can make myself stop crying when i facing problems...but...haiz...its seems not working at all....!!!)

actually what had happened to me...?
i myself also don't know...
Yesterday...
Ying Kwong kept on asking me about my situation....
all answered by 3/4 words...
I don't know..
i really don't know...
i don't know...
really...
haiz....

how....?
what can i do so that i won't feel.....................
( i also don't know how to describe my feeelings)
Sad sad....

when looking at those assignment...
feeling like can't breath...
its hard for me to calm down and read those assignments....
to many of it...

not only that...
i regret that i went to Karaoke with them that Saturday...
if i was absent that day...
Maybe my problems will be halved...
but now...
haiz....
headache.....

Curi Tulang during my class...:D

Haha...
feel like very long time din't update my blog already..
no choice.....
who ask the line at my hostel there very weak...
want to wait for a page to out also need to wait for half an hour...
what............('pek chek')

luckily now...
our lectural was absent and now we having own presentataion...
and my turn just passed...
lol....
its nice....(why?)
cause we can use laptop online during our class...
hehe...
happy...

so i am here to let all of u know i am fine here....
don't need to worry about me...
now already abit relax for our study life cause our tired orientation week already past....
now just busy on thise presentation and assignments...
huhh....
still can afford it larh....

and here to ask all of my friends....
take care....
the disease now very terrible...
so....
everyone must take care....
don't get ill already....

have to stop here...
want to go eat eat already...^^

take care everyone....
good luck....
gambateh....

Today....

Woke up early by 7am...
yesterday slept at 12am something...(if not mistaken)
then went to the stupid place to watch stupid and bored activity....
taught that diwajibkan...
who knows....
when reached there...
what made me quite angry was....
just a few people went....
sienz....
just can sat there play with handphones...

after that...
about 11am something only went back to my hostel...
tired...
tired until i play computer also will fall asleep...
haiz...
slept for about 45 minutes then have to wake up cause need to went to the activity that organised by buddha club....

reached there....
at first...
felt a bit boring cause those activities that they prepared normally is for little children...
so felt a bit childish for us...
but after that....
one of the activity was...
they asked us to close our eyes to relax ourself...(whole body include our mind)
then they asked us to put our hand straight for few minutes...
at last....
they talked something....
and made me cry....
T.T....
the 1st time i cry because of...
felt that since i was here....
felt that at here din't have any friends that can be like my form6 friends who can play, chat with me...
and this few days....
very tired...
many nights not enough sleep already....(since here)
at last...
at there can let me felt relax...
this also made me started to miss my family, my seniors, my friends and him too.....
haiz....
somemore got 5 and the half years for me at here....
don't know what will going on with my coming life at here...?
but....
hope i can overcome those difficulties here and can sucessfully finish my study here...