whom i can believe

haiz.....
whom i can believe?
i really don't know....
now really hope that someone not from here (JB) can call me, listen to me quietly...
let me express out everything...
cause i already try the way to express out here...
but still not working...
tried before to borrow some time from others but seem like will disturbing them...
haiz.....
so still only can come here and express.....

haiz.....
can i do that?
assume that nothing happened....?

again....
a change on me....
a new year....
another change....
haiz.....

i keep on asking myself....
is it on mask, we only can continue stay in this world?
is it we must be selfish only can stay in this world so that won't get bully by others?
haiz....

now i really don't know whom i can believe anymore......
who can tell me???

我的心声

人生总有些许的不如意。。。

对于看不顺眼的事
睁一只眼，闭一只眼

将身边的事
大事化小，小事化无

还有什么好计较的呢？

人心难测

人心难测

为什么？
骗人很好玩吗？
如果是那么好玩的话，
想一想，
若有一天你们（男）也是受害者的话，
你们会有什么感受呢？
反省一下吧！！

人心难测
难道没带着面具就无法在这个社会上生存吗？
没带着面具就会死吗？？？！！！

伪装
难道你（女）不觉得很辛苦吗？
这样强迫自己伪装自己。
难道你（女）不觉得那样很虚伪吗？

自私
自私的人，的确令人讨厌
连我自己有时候也讨厌我自己，
就因我发觉我也有自私的时候。
但，你（女）未免也太过火了吧
人难免会有自私的时候
没有人永远都是那么慷慨大方的，
但你是不是太过火了呢？
好好反省一下吧！
双面人！！！！
别让所有人都讨厌！！！
就连我平常很少那样讨厌别人，都觉得对不起我自己去讨厌你（女）
可见的你（女）是那么的令人讨厌！！！

虚伪又自私的人，没人会喜欢的。。。
好好反省吧！！！

Started the boring, but also stressul life again...

3rd of Jan...
Said goodbye to those my friends at Klang...T.T
reached Batu Pahat by about 6pm...
haiz...
here again....
a boring life in maktab.....
after reached maktab, its nice to meet those my fellow friends here...
but not time for us to chit chat yet....
haiz....
my room...
so dusty although when u look onto the surface of something, u could not see any dust...
but its very dusty actually...
my job here...
sweep and mop the floor...
because i can do well in those housework, so most of the time i will be doing that...
that's why they used to call me 'good mother godd wife' which is a sentence directly translate from Chinese...
haha
huh....
after that started to put all my things back to their own place...
arranged them on the rack...
hang back all my formal suit into the wardrobe...
huh.....
after 2 hours, all the things done..
can be counted fast when compare with others already casue my roommate still cleaning her things...
haha
paiseh orh ah mate....^^
the clock shows 10pm++
haven take bath yet....
haiz....
cold water...
luckily that night didn't get flu...
haha...
the next day is the day that we start our new semester already...
haiz...
need to attend those classes....

4th of Jan...
started to attend classes...
haiz..
new semester doesn't mean that everything is new...
some of my subject still related to last semester's things...
but....
this semester we will having PJ class...
haiz...
2.4km within 10 minutes...
WHAT???!!!
i didn't jog at all lorh...
no choice...
from that day on we must almost everyday go jogging already...
so....
we planned to start from walking...
night...
slept at about 3am++
haiz...
that time miss my family and my seniors so much...
haiz....

5th of Jan...
felt very moody because of tiredness and don't know what other reason larh...
so moody for the whole morning....
night still the same...
boring till just chat with friends till almost 2am++ only went to bed...
luckily can sleep this time...

haiz....
the life here is just eat sleep chit chat.......
boring life, suit for a person like me????

Exhibition here....

a small gift from my foster...


the most dificult draw...


the draw that i said break record, 30min done it...


get the idea to draw it when drink water...


guess what these? onion?


the food that i hate. when drawing this still need to hold my breath frm the smell...


use this to capture these draws...


my new shoes...


my 1st draw for the exhibiition...


so sory for the noise of the photos..

let go everything....

i wanted to let go everything, can or not?
it so suffer now....
everything make me felt like cannot breath...
its too heavy....

what hapen actually...?
i also wanted to know....
since form 6...
form 6 change everything of me...
including my own characteristic...
i was not like that before...
i was just a students that others won't recognise...
but when up form 6...
its a big different for me...
i didn't even think before that i will can know such lot friends, have those nice friends...
especially with those seniors..
the 1st time i get to know so many seniors and friends....
really, i didn't even think of i will....
as i am a quiet girl last time...

and....
i already suit with my new characteristic...
a girl who will express everything out when she is unhappy or happy...
but is it good for me to have such changes?

at 1st, i feel happy that i get such changes...
and its good for me...
cause i know socialisation is very important....

but now...
since i started the new life there...
i started to wondering...
is the changes of myself good or not?
cause till now i still cannot suit with the people there....
i mean those other then my coursemate...
is it good for me to express out everything even when i am unhappy?

WHAT SHOULD I DO???
WHAT SHOULD I DO???

so, please at least let me express out here....
i just express out what i felt....
didn't meant to hurt anyone...
cause its suffer for me to keep keep keep and keep those things in my heart..
my heart just a small organ in my body...
if keep too much my heart will explode....
so those who view my file and feel annoy with what i am expressing here...
don't need to think too much, just straight away go to the bar on the top and click on the red cross button then ok already....