it has been quite a time didn't express anything over here already...
but...
here i come again...

Few days before...
i angry...
i jealous..
i sad...
and cried on you...
ya...
maybe i think too much already...
after a big cry, after cooling down myself...
i convinced myself not to think about that anymore...
u said, i not trust you..
actually not..
is just i have no confidence on myself...
i not pretty as others, i not clever and smart as others and i have many other weak points...

i kept on thinking of what mummy told me on that night that i will never ever forget..
is that possible for me to have you..??
or it just another joke that the God play on me again..??
i don't know..

last time..
i opened the door of my heart and let others to come in..
and what i get??
the feeling that full of sadness, feeling of heartache, feeling of disappointed etc.
on that moment, i closed the door of my heart again..
i told myself that i won't express anymore on others..

but...
is you...
is you that got the key to open the door again..
is you that let me to have this choice..
i was wondering that time...
is it just another sweet dream for me?
if yes...
i rather to sleep forever and not to get up from the sweet dream as i already gave you all my heart..

it seem like not just a sweet dream..
its real...
you gave me many first time...
and it's such a sweet memory for me that i will never forget...

that day...
after i successful made myself not to think about that after the cry..
i suddenly got a feeling of release..
i was happy that time..
and that's why when i saw those photos, i didn't cry as u thought..
i thought that i am strong enough to face those already..
i thought that i got back my confidence again..

but...
now...
i am so regret to see that..
the words of "hug so tight and sweet" kept on running in my mind..
ya...
i still very cares about that...
although you had explain everything..
but that time...
i didn't heard anything as i was afraid to know more about it...
i am so regret that i on and saw it...
i rather not to know all about this..

i just felt that i am so selfish, hope that everything of you just belongs to me..
and seems like i am wrong..
i lost all my confidence again..
and finally...
this hamburger opened her water tape again...

she cares everything about him...
she loves him with all her heart and she kept on ask herself that...
will she get what she want?
and now...
what she can do?

an answer from her heart...
what she can do is just continue to love him...
no matter how...
she still loves him with all of her heart...
and even that he is just the joke that God plays on her,
she will also just accept it..
who ask that he got the key that successful opened the door in her heart again...